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Brunette Mess 39, Female, Texas, USA - 15 entries

Jan 2007
6:09 PM EST

Ok...I admit it, I'm LONELY! I hate being alone, it's the worst possible feeling in the whole world. I mean it awful! I wish there was just someone, just ONE person that will make me change my whole outlook on life and love. Right now I'm not sure if 'true love' even exists, I mean how sad is that? I don't even believe in love! I'm only 20 and I am so cynical. I just know that all of my friends are going to get married, have children, and be happy & I will be left to grow old by myself. I want one boy to change my mind and show me that there not all the same. I mean I have been in relationships before, but they have all been in high school and didn't really mean anything. And all of the guys I've dated in college screwed me over big time. So I know that relationships are hard, but that's because the only thing harder is being alone...

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1 comment(s) - 08:45 PM - 01/28/2007

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oconfessionario 40, Female, North Carolina, USA - 8 entries

Jan 2007
6:17 PM EDT

I just got this really great idea. Instead of working out in the recycled central heating, I am going to do what I really want to do. I would feel the best about myself if I were able to walk, alone and without distraction, out in the open air, no matter the temperature (that's what coats/gloves are for) rather than in a boring gym. I'm still going to walk in the afternoons, like I have been working out, but around places in the town where I live that I've yet to explore. Maybe I'll walk a new route each week, and on Saturday, go out searching for a new path somewhere that's safe, out of the way of traffic and beautiful. :) This is going to be great! In addition to this goal, I am really striving my best to stick to 1200 calories per day and plan my days around that. And to push out all the "cant's" because no matter how badly I want to buck my own standards and desires, I know that the future me will thank me a million times over for my efforts during the journey. BTW, www.fitday.com is an awesome resource for anyone trying to get in shape (personalized journal/calorie counter/exercise log/nutrient content all in one)

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1 comment(s) - 10:11 AM - 01/27/2007

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Angela Wang 47, Female, China - 73 entries

Jan 2007
5:38 PM EDT

My son is still very happy but he did not like to eat dinner instead of drinking milk. Except that, another thing has beentroubling me for days. My father asked me to send him a pair of old shoes through mail three days ago. Suddenly I feel very upset for myself. I have no money to buy a new one for him because I have no job. I am very guilty about it.

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charlax 71, Male, Arizona, USA - 744 entries

Jan 2007
1:56 AM MST

unless me cares for ewe she will get worse

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questioningeverything 38, Female, California, USA - 16 entries

Jan 2007
11:04 AM PST

So I am a single female. Today just about 50% of women aren't married or living with a significant other in this country. This is either the scariest fact or the best fact which I have heard in a really long time. I am not the average 19 year old college student. I have never been drunk in my life, and I don't really understand why people do it. ( I am not a judgemental person though, do what you want to do. Some people are the most entertaining people to be around when they have had a few.) Anyway, I am not someone to wear slutty clothes, for more than one reason. I love to just hang out, laugh, and have a real conversation about something that actually matters. I have been to my fair share of parties and some have been fun some not so much. I am the normal girl in the fact that I have a perfect wedding picked out and know what kind of dress I want. I am not dependent on this day ever coming though. I think that I will be able to function on my own without a significant other. Although I believe society places a lot of being a married women and finding "the one" I do think it is not just society telling us something. It is human nature to want someone to have that kind of companionship with. So that fact I said, it is good because slowly more and more women are doing what they want. On the other hand it means that there are a lot of people who are alone in this world, without that one person...that person who makes you feel like the world revolved around you. I don't think they will complete me because I want to be a complete person before I think seriously about getting married. They are a new best friend to have. I have learned a lot over the past few years about my self and others. I have seen what bringing a boyfriend can do to a relationship even between the closest friends. I have seen what happens when that friend who you have complained about not having someone and just about everything else gets that boy. As the saying going chicks before dicks and bros before hoes are just words that rhyme and it just so happens that they rhyme when you switch the words around. I have never experienced having to choose between a boyfriend or my friends. I hope that my friends will win 90% of the time, but the more I watch my closest friends fall into relationships I don't know what I will do. I think the same happens with men (they are considered whipped). I had a reassuring conversation today though. It scares me that I have never been in a long-term relationship when I am only 19. There are some nights I go to bed and wish that there was someone there (not in a sexual way) but just someone to fall asleep with. There are some guys that I may flirt with or look at and say I could date them. When I thought about these guys today, the reality is that I don't want to date them. I would like to become better friends with some of them. Hang out with them more, but not date them. None of my friends at school are in relationships. We are all happy. Today a group of us got together and went to a dollar theater. (Stranger than fiction--good movie) It was just fun. It doesn't matter if you are dating someone. I am too young to worry about that part of the rest of my life. It doesn't matter who I am dating or not dating now. I am having fun. I am enjoying life, and although there may be those nights or those days which kissing someone or having that flirtation with someone may be in the back of my mind, it is not running it. I don't need a man to make me complete or happy like so many people think. At home, I am becoming the single friend slowly but surely, but if that's how it is going to be that is ok. As long as we are there for each other when it counts I can (work on) accepting that.

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tealprincess18 35, Female, Virginia, USA - 88 entries

Jan 2007
2:48 PM EDT

today has been good.. i cantwait untill tomorrow... i get to spend time with my boyfriend.... we are going to see pursuit of happyness, at the theature where i work!!! he will be home around 2:00 and we are going out at 5:30... yeah... i cant wait.. i miss him so much i hate that he has to go to military school!!! i never get to see him, but when we do see eachother it is 10 times as special cuz there is so much to talk about... well i will be online at 6:15 to talk to him... so anyway till tomorrow night after my date.. i will be smiling!!!! *destiney

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jodigirl25 59, Female, Ohio, USA - 40 entries

Jan 2007
1:58 PM EDT

I've been busy with school and clinicals! Oh, it's great. Next week I will get to spend a day in OR. Then ER. I've taken 2 tests and scored a 95% and 96%. Yah! This is great. My interview went well. Next comes the red tape, fingerprinting, BMV check, FBI check, that kind of thing...

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smb 50, Female, Wyoming, USA - 129 entries

Jan 2007
6:36 AM MST

I can't do this with CN anymore. I love him but I don't. and he is so super jealous and I guess he has every right to be because I am not head over heals about him like he is about me. AND- I don't have that commitment for him like he has for me. He is pushing me away with his desperate love! I can't stand it. BUT it also makes me sad to think of losing him. I am going to go to Rapid to see Moe and that is driving CN crazy! He doesn't want me to go or he wants to go with and so needless to say things are very shakey with CN and me. I do want to see MOE but don't want things to be ruined between CN but on the other hand I want to do what I want to do without feeling tied down or guilty. (I have no intentions of a sexual relationship with Moe) I am being very mean to CN right now and just want my cake and eat it too! Poor guy! I think I am going to break up with CN and see if we can go our seperate ways and then maybe get back together when i "grow up" ----------------------------- Mom is going to watch the boys for me this weekend!

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ressa525 60, Female, Illinois, USA - 11 entries

Jan 2007
4:59 PM CST

This is my first time making an entry for others to read. I hope to heal and grow from my entries about whatever I experience in my life. One week ago today I heard from my ex-boyfried. He had called me to say he received my correspondence I had mailed to where he is living now. My correspondence detailed my stamp that I will survive him and my friends support me. That I believed him and that I am amazed that he has not responded to me when notified that I had two deaths in my family 1 month apart. Finally that he needs to pay me back the money he owes me. When he called me he sounded not happy because his now WIFE has suspicions and she wants to know information. To my surprise, he said to me she does not know who I am. He told her I am someone that worked with him (which is not true) and that he had paid my boyfriend back. Another lie. I was so upset I could not think, all I could do was sound hysterical and blurt out questions angrily. 1st question, what is going on? He called me last month, ask about my family and tells me what he is doing. He says he thinks about me everyday and that he loves me. I reply the same. What the hell!!! That does not mean go marry your baby mama, that I know you are not in love with. He now tells me this is not the time to talk and says I will have to call you back in front of her. I am shouting you cannot tell me you love me and you really don't. He says he does love me and his life, no one understands how chaotic things have become. That still does not mean to go marry someone you are not in love with. And to think you have been lying to me all this time and lying to his now WIFE. There is much more, but I will stop. I have cried, my stomach became upset and to add insult to injury, had laryngitis, which I have never had before. I am sad and angry at the same time. I want to burst his bubble of lies. I loved him, cared for him. And to think he is an ordained minister.

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1 comment(s) - 11:46 AM - 12/12/2008

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woody 33, Male, California, USA - 3 entries

Jan 2007
3:58 PM PDT

WELL SENCE I ALREDY told you about my worst day.heres my best day or one of the best days of my life...was probly in september of 2006. there was alot of my friends and we humg out at school all day playing football doing alot of stuff we went on the roof and some kinda of tag with a bunch of different stuff.we hung out all day and the fun never really ended.there are many other good days and that was just one of them.

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